JABbering Stooge

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Emerging from an undisclosed location...

Well, final exams are finally over with, so let's look at the events that have developed while I was hunkered down in an undisclosed location preparing for the inevitable:

God Hates Democrats, So Sayeth Rev. Chandler:

It all started with the expulsion of nine members of the East Waynesville Baptist Church in Waynesville, North Carolina by Rev. Chan Chandler. 40 members left in protest, eventually resulting in his resignation.

All well and good - the bastard got his comeuppance. However, it seems that the good Reverand's defenders have drunk the communal Kool-Aid(TM):

"I don't believe he preached politics," church member Rhonda Trantham said. "I don't believe anyone should tell a preacher not to preach what's in the Bible."

Really? Care to explain to me how saying that people who voted for Kerry needed to "repent or resign" is IN ANY WAY AT ALL non-political?!!!

And just who is enjoining him from "preaching what's in the Bible," anyway? For that matter, abortion is not discussed AT ALL in the Bible - he'd be "adding to" the Bible, a blasphemy, if I remember my theology correctly.

Oh wait. I'm being too logical for these Pharisees. Never mind.

Of course, I'm sure Eggs Benedict is taking notes for the 2006 election cycle...

Bolton plan to fly a hijacked plane into the U.N. building nomination heads to Senate floor:

Karl Rove must've used the three week delay in Bolton's nomination to come down on waffling Republicans such as George Voinovich of Ohio like a ton of bricks, because the Senate Foreign Relations Committee just sent the nomination to the full Senate on a 10-8 party-line vote. Now to the credit of Voinovich and other Republicans of conscience on the Foreign Relations Committee, they managed to ensure that the committee made no recommendation either way on the nomination, and Voinovich has hinted that he would vote against Bolton's nomination.

Now with the co-dependent Dems' habit of not even taking a dump without Unka Karl's permission, expect them to fold like lawn chairs when the nomination comes up for a vote. Also, expect Rove to do some more arm-twisting to keep the wobbly Republicans in line.

My prediciton for the vote: Bolton sails through 100-0.

Nuclear-option clock set to 11:59:59 as stalled nominees sent to Senate:

Now we get down to the heart of the matter: several of Bush's judicial nominees that have been stalled by the Democrats are coming up for a vote on the Senate floor, starting with Alabama Attorney General William Pryor (no relation to comedian Richard Pryor) - a man who opposed the Violence Against Women Act and whose only saving grace is that he only wants to partially trash the First Amendment's protections against a state-mandated religion.

Nukeing the filibuster, the last of the Grand Thuggery Party's weapons to deny Democrats the same tools that they so ruthlessly wielded against a far larger number of Clinton's nominees than the number of blocked Bush nominees, would be the final stake through the heart of our dying democracy, as the Senate would become nothing more than a rubber stamp for this administration, surrendering what little power it has left to the executive branch. Yet somehow, Democrats are being castigated as "anti-democracy" and "anti-Christian bigots" for standing up for Constitution's "advice and consent" clause. The Rethuglicans want to have their cake and eat it, too.

Somehow, the rhetoric and tactics of the right reminds me of what we're always hearing about from them in regards to (Muslim) terrorists: Don't give them what they say they want, 'cause they'll just come back with bigger demands. Unfortunately, these days, those who have hijacked the Republican party won't be happy unless they get 10000000000000% of what they want. Thanks, co-dependent Democrats!

Republicans Gone Wild!
Finally, I leave you with the ever stranger doings of the Republicans under the covers:

First we had the well-known and (not so) widely reported pecadilloes of the managers of the House impeachment proceedings against Bill Clinton.

Last year, in the run-up to the 2004 elections, Senator Barack Obama's initial opponent, Jack "I boinked Seven-of-Nine" Ryan dropped out of the race due to revelations in his divorce papers from actress Jeri Ryan that he took her to sex clubs and asked her to participate in various group sex acts.

Then there was First Lady Laura Bush's suggestion at the White House Correspondents' Dinner that President Bush had a penchant for "milking" horses in college, which prompted the Osama bin Laden of the anti-abortion movement, Neal Horsley, to admit to some "man-on-mule" action of his own to Alan Colmes.

Then there was the revelation that mega-homophobe and mayor of Spokane, WA Jim "Wild Wild" West had been caught by a reporter in a gay chat room giving 17-year-olds the Michael Jackson treatment, offering internships and other benefits for the "pleasure" of his company.

And finally, RawStory.com has revealed allegations by Hustler Magazine publisher Larry Flynt that Bush's nominee for U.N. ambassador has some Jack Ryan-esque skeletons in his closet. That's right, John "Short Temper Theater" Bolton is accused of forcing wife to engage in group sex at a place called "Plato's Retreat."

Kinda makes you wonder if Barney has any secrets he'd like to tell us, eh? Oh well, I'm not going to waste $80 million of the taxpayer's money looking into that sort of thing. I'll leave that to the American Inquisition.

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